I'd Love You to Want Me ~ Bread
So many things have happened in the past twenty-four hours. I don't dare try to recall all of them; they threaten to bring tears to my already dry eyes. The only thing, however, that floats through my mind is the rich sound of Billy's voice as he sings song after song, lulling my tired eyes closed in gentle slumber.
Hours later, the apartment dark and quiet, I'm awake. Balled up under a mound of blankets, my makeshift curtains covering the window and a new coverlet piled around me. I smile, snuggling deeper into the warm mass, knowing that it is all Billy's doing. I'm beginning to see how much he really does care for me, although I don't know why. Why should anyone care for me?
Elijah did... but in a different way. He belongs to another; I know that now. It makes it easier to let him go, knowing that he is loved; harder because something about him drew me to him. And he pushed me back: back to Billy. Go home to Billy. Billy loves you.
So I went back, expecting the worse, but was welcomed with open arms. He fed me, talked with me, listened to me, comforted me. Never once did he interrupt me, accuse me, yell at me, beat me, or abuse me. It’s another first, and it’s a strange feeling, safety. I hope I am not making another mistake, but, he even sang to me, and his heart spoke to mine through the lyrics. Somehow, I know he is different than the rest.
I remember lying down speechless after one of the songs, his eyes locked with mine. I see the want in your blue eyes. Baby, I'd love you to want me, the way that I want you, the way that it should be. Baby, you'd love me to want you, the way that I want to, if you'd only let it be.
I curled up, and he sang me to sleep, his soft voice filling my dreams with peace.
And now, as I lie awake, Billy sleeping softly in the next room, I have to ask myself, do I let it be?